Less Me  

So much of my dialog has been filled up with negative thought processes:

I can’t believe you let yourself get like this.

god, don’t you have any discipline at all?

of course they’re watching you eat, it’s like a fatal car crash, they can’t look away.

yes, they’re smiling, but inside they are thinking “what is this fat woman talking about”?

and on, and on, and on.  While I’m not normally a negative person, when it comes to my weight lately, there is nothing good in here.   I can’t find any bit of encouragement knowing that my weight is at a dead stand-still.  So I get frustrated.  And I beat myself up.  Because I don’t have any motivation to do anything else.  And the vicious cycle continues on and on and on.

Then, every once in a while, when I’m not even paying attention, God throws me a proverbial crumb.

http://eighteenagain.wordpress.com/2010/07/21/help-for-this-moment-right-now/

An excellent post from a friend that is experiencing beautiful results from his hard work and discipline.  And from that post he has given me new words and a new mindset.

Maybe the scale isn’t moving today.  Maybe it’s going to take me doing something else.  But in the meanwhile, to help for this moment right now, this is what I can say instead:

-God, please help me right now.

-I CAN eat right now, just a very small amount. A very small amount right now is OK. One small bite and just walk away.

-I’ve lost so much weight; I don’t want to waste all that effort over this one moment.

-If I pass this test, it will strengthen my resolve now and in the future, prove the naysayers wrong and me and God right, and I will lose weight again by tomorrow by acting now upon my desire to be thinner forever.

-Besides, I can always eat a little more later if I am truly hungry. Just one small bite and just walk away.

And for this moment, this one right here, it will be enough.

And he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest on me – 2 Corinthians 12:9.