Maybe it’s just that the ‘big ole Stu’ is still big… in your head. Mr. Wonderful has that problem. He hasn’t made the mental adjustment. You have really made some positive changes with your weight & your health. Maybe you forget.

I am in that place where Corie is. I just want the answer. What is going on? What’s it going to take? What do I have to do????

My Hormone Testing Results will be ready on September 30th. Finally. I am excited.

And earlier this week? I found out I don’t have thyroid cancer – how cool is that? (abundantly blessed, indeed)

So, although it’s got some calcification which makes it slow, no bad, bad news.

I am working my way towards a comfort zone, and for today – that’s good enough.

Be blessed…

Gia, you so have a pentient for saying out loud what so many people think.
I don’t know how many events I attend that I have the same thought. “I am known for my stand on weight loss and healthiER living, and here I am, still chubby-shaped.”

I ride by the same homes week after week on my bike. And though the weight is so much better than it was a couple of years ago, or even just a few months ago, I wonder if these people that see big ole Stu riding his fancy bike past their house begin to wonder, “so, since he’s not looking any thinner, why does he ride his bike? Did he lose his license? Oh, I bet he’s one of those drunk drivers.”

I’m convinced the battle is mainly in my mind. Most folks applaud health and vigor and any attempts towards that goal. As I write this, the same old guy just power walked past my house. Good for him.
(Yes, he’s thin.)

He’s a really great person. Even through our troubles, I never forget that he is who God chose for me. And I don’t argue with God…

Be blessed, my friend…

In my own profession, the edu system changes so quick that my degree isn’t even offered anymore.

Taking life examinations and direction from people who keep changing the goal line and game rules is both dangerous and deceptive. I had several discussions with advertising art profs who were convinced that advertising to men was the same as advertising to woman, just because the trend of emasculation and feminism dictates to the edu crowd that it is politically correct to say so.

I have been in advertising and marketing my entire adult life, starting with high school. I know for a fact that regardless of one’s political leanings, people who buy advertising expect certain common sense truths. If they are selling hunting gear with a special emphasis on deer hunting, the ad is to appear masculine. Anything less would lose me the contract. Place a pink shotgun as feature in the ad just because my type face instructor has an identity issue? I think not. (Yes, they make guns feminine colors now. That would be pink for all of you gender challenged individuals)

There are certainly good people in the Psyche industry because people, after stripping away all degrees and professional accomplishments, are just people. There are good and bad everywhere. But, colleges and universities, especially those who were founded by Bible believers like Smith, Harvard, Boston College, all of the Ivy League, but do everything they can to hide those well-founded roots, are always claiming that they are the end all of authorities and are a force to be reckoned with. This attitude just trickles down to their graduates like a smelly seeping discharge.

Yes, my college is no different. Chicago Art Institute/Illinois Institute of Art has a certain air that requires a willing attitude of pride in order to survive there. Like we were all so predestined for greatness just because we were allowed to attend.

I got student loans, went to classes, graduated. Got some work in the industry, started my own contracting business and have been working ever since. Most of my class did not, however, get employed. Some are still working at Wolf Camera, etc. My business struggles now and I am looking for a possible night job. Proves nothing about my degree origin. More a reflection of the current economy and my ability to afford to advertise and chase down gig leads.

I choose to stay with points of reference that tend to change less and serve better, taking with a grain of salt those whom institutions point to for foundation.

I hope that your new therapist listens better, thinks deeper and serves you specifically. I always thought that medical professionals should strive to be less professional and more personal in their service. They are, after all, a human serving another human in the area of being human.

I like the new Gia better.

Nobody on earth knows for certain who is and who isn’t either sane or insane, and who is just a good or poor actor. Many Psychologists agree that crimes of passion are not perpetrated by insane people but most other deadly crimes are. Even though this is a purely arbitrary opinion not based in any fact and argued back and forth by many PHDs, the opinion is still used to determine life or death court sentences of malefactors.

And we trust our day to day mental health to these individuals?

Yes, I just boiled a complex situation down to a simplistic scenario. It’s called common sense. We all have it even though we are not medical specialists. We are all specialists, however, in both common things and things that make sense, because we use these tools 365 days a year.

According to the scientific definition by which psychologists judge domestic social tools, habits and general behavior of frequency, almost the entire engaged population is sane, healthy and loaded with common sense. We are prepared and ready to take on even the most difficult situations and excel dramatically. Any normal pedestrian would be hard put to convince any of us that we are suffering from treatable mental health.

Yet, let us sit alone for 45 minutes with one of these mental health specialists, and any of us is highly suspected of doubting our own sanity.

My opinion is that these specialists are more professional at debate and persuasion than they are at observation and diagnosis.

Green Jell-o smeared naked people running down the street is not the only way to identify crazy people. Hey, it might just be Halloween in San Francisco.

Most people perpetrate crimes motivated by passion than by mental health.

Sail on, Gia.

Now, if Gia is arrested tomorrow on the roof top of one of her town’s post offices with M16 cocked and loaded, she’s insane and I am all wrong.

Now, where’s my Lime Jell-o?

Thank you so much for being a friend. And thanks for sharing that insight to your childhood. I always tried to use that in dealing with my struggles. Yes, it was bad for me as a child. But it was bad for a lot of people. My sisters had it even worse than I. I think many people had trouble as kids. But we pull ourselves up and make the best of it.

I am happy that I ended a cycle of abuse, that I was strong enough to do that. I have accomplished a lot. I have given my children the opportunity to be healthy, functioning adults. That is what being a parent is all about. Our end product.

God held my hand and guided my steps at every point. That is why I succeeded. Thanks for the encouraging scripture. When it is all said & done, Jesus is our best Counselor.

I’m gonna do what all people that get fired should do… I’m going to remember that when life closes one door, God always opens another. With the love and support of friends God has brought into my life, I will be just fine.

Maybe I am looking for a crutch that I don’t need. Maybe it’s a simple as going back to God and letting Him lead me again…

Have a beautiful day, Stu!!

I know you need a hug but I am the wrong individual for that on too many levels to count.

Jesus loves you, Gia. And, in the friend-I-just-met-a-few-weeks-ago-who-shares-a-lot-of-commonalities-with-me-and-my-wife, and-who-might-be-young-enough-to-be-my… really-younger-sister-way, I love you.

I think your therapist needs a therapist.

You are so right on in your clear-headed critique of your situation as presented herein, I would say that you are your own best therapist.

Stick to keeping your husband as your best friend, and the Bible as your daily guide, and Jesus as your goal to emulate and the Holy Spirit who lives inside you as your confirmation of that still, small voice leading you from moment to moment.

I would not dare to share in the virtual open as have you. I have had some very hard early experiences starting at age 3 and beyond. But in all, my mother did her best and succeeded in my memories being 95% wonderful growing up. She is a lot like you. We did a lot of really fun things. The long surfing trip to Florida you mentioned reminded me of my mom taking us to the Oregon coast to camp out on the beach and play in the waves at least once yearly. As poor as we were, being raised by one parent, it is amazing the things we did.

My sisters have mentioned some situations that I don’t even remember that if brought into the open might be something for psychoanalyzing, but I never remember stuff like that. I remember how much she loved me and went out of her way to do and provide.

Sounds to me like you did more than most moms.

Gia, you might be stronger and more normal than you think. I think therapist-just-exiting did you a large favor.

Replace therapy with living for others for a while, reading Bible daily, exercising, loving on your husband, and doing meaningful things that make a difference in yours and others’ lives.

And call me in the morning.

Just prayed for you again, like I do every morning.

Romans 8:28 is there for a reason. ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD…

Also, I Timothy 2:5 FOR THERE IS ONE GOD AND ONE MEDIATOR BETWEEN GOD AND MEN, THE MAN CHRIST JESUS.

I noticed that your sense of humor is able to sit up and take nourishment.

We had an excellent weekend. 2 bike-rides and 2 days of sailing. We left duck-feed on the boat & got an ant infestation, so we couldn’t spend the night on the boat as planned. But we did get the sails up for the very first time. It was a lot of fun…

And we ate really badly…

But that’s totally ok…

Hope your weekend was excellent, as well!!

Ok that last sentence was just for me. My daily exercise debate has begun once again. Should I stay or should I go now? Answer — I’m going!!!!!

The profile pic is too small, I can’t tell who it is. Do you have a bigger version posted somewhere???

G’Day!!

My weight loss blog is not something I’m promoting for a following, it’s not even interesting. But it is my struggle, along with the information I have found helpful. What is missing in my life right now are a few support people. (Like you, Stu!! )

I will check out the links you suggested, as well as your site.

I appreciate it!

Gia

Here are their blogs
Loretta’s Journey http://lorettasjourney.blogspot.com/
Deb Will Be Thin http://debwillbethin.blogspot.com/
Kat with Fit Mind Body Spirit http://fitmindbodyspirit.blogspot.com/

There are a whole lot more links on my own site.

I hope this helps

I’ll be visiting mor myself

I thought that by posting info on twitter & having a few followers, I might find a few people that way. But I’m noticing mostly hard-core bloggers and tweeters looking just for their own followers.

It’s hard to find people that are failing at losing weight while dieting and exercising, although there are women somewhere that have this problem. Guess I’ll just have to do it on my own.

Your support has been wonderful, Stu. If you were a hormonally challenged female, it would be perfect…

Where’s that post inspired by your mom???

Being able to talk with her about my mental health history from few years back. To have her remind me that she was treating me for PTSD & anxiety, not bipolar disorder – because I don’t HAVE bipolar disorder. To remember that I only have an anxiety disorder coupled with a mild depression from the out of whack hormones.

To have that happen on this, the worst week I’ve had in 3 weeks?

That, my friend, is hand of God stuff.

This prepared me to go back to my counselor & head shrinker next week and let them know they aren’t pulling me into some insane long-term disorder treatment.

With regulated hormones and a little PTSD treatment, I’ll be back to full-time work in no time. I am SO happy!!!

And if I fix the weight problem too, all the better…

Thanks!!

Did I mention I run a not-for-profit cycling club. That every weekend since 2001 I have dedicated myself to teaching people how to properly and safely ride bikes, so they can be healthy, lose weight and have fun. For the last 7 years, up until they outlawed it in my town this June, I was involved in homeless ministry.

It would be so much easier to spend a couple more years pretending I was fine and helping others. But in July, my brain shut down and said “we have some work to do on you”. So, that is what I am doing. I waited too long to seek assistance, not wanting to burden anyone.

So, for now, I’ll face it head on. Even though it feels so stupid that I can not plan an 8 hour work day for myself. I will accept that my mind isn’t working at full capacity and stumble through my days exploring how I got here, and working towards being better.

I know you read all this and think I seem so self-absorbed. I have the same reaction. And while I don’t like it, I understand this is part of getting better. The focus will shift back to other things and other people, but for now this is where I am.

It won’t be a quick fix, but hopefully an inexpensive fix. I own a very successful business, I’ve let my employees go, work is piled up and I am completely overwhelmed with things I ‘should’ be doing. But I am supposed to take it one day at a time, complete what I can complete and sleep at night instead of freaking out about all that is still left to do.

I don’t know how to explain how it feels to be here, I only hope you never have to find out. It’s been made a little difficult due to how screwed up our mental health care system is. Everyone they see has to have a ‘disorder’ now. And everyone has to take some sort of medication.

So the fighting to get the right care, with limited energy becomes hard. Once they get this situation figured out and I have a plan for treatment that I feel will actually help, it will get easier. But we’re at the beginning now, and it is a slippery slope.

Thanks for being a friend. I hope you continue to do so. I know you want to offer a suggestion that will make my journey easier. For now, I just need a friend. My husband, the head-shrinker, the counselor and I will work on the rest. My biggest need is a friend…

Gia

I love the Catalina. It’s like a large San Juan. Nicer and larger cabins. Pics, I want pics!

Emotional eaters have something emotional going on. In engaging in a new relationship and starting my own business, I took on more than I could handle.

With a life spent as Gia, the bodacious super-heroine, it was hard to tell I had taken on too much.

New relationships are hard. Owning your own business is hard. Doing both simultaneously was more than I could handle.

My sanity glue became food, when I began controlling that earlier this year in an attempt to lose all the weight i had gained, I had no release valve. Meltdown commenced about 3 months ago.

Because I didn’t want to lose my super-heroine cape, I played it off like everything was ‘just fine’!! Last month my brain shut down and said ‘NO MORE’.

So, now I am getting the assistance I need and getting to the bottom of the emotional eating. It’s not a fun… or a pretty thing to do. But I know both me and my husband will be better for it.

Pressure is too great right now not to utilize the meds for now, but that won’t be a forever thing… remember, I am Gia, the bodacious super-heroine.

Your comments and friendship help more than you will ever know…

Once again, just a thought. I will now back quietly and humbly out of this cyber room. Coffee anyone? (Decaf)

So many of the one’s I’ve met are church-goers, but not word-livers… makes it hard. I’m invested emotionally in this one now, so I’ll just preach to her when I need to and pray for the best…

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

Now I am on the desperation diet and eating 600 calories a day. The hormone injection every morning keeps the hunger away and keeps my body from going into starvation. It’s going well.

I am still weighing myself 3 times a day, but I’m not bothered by what I am seeing.

Follow along, Stu… we’ll see if this works.

I know this diet will get the weight off. The question is whether I can maintain it at the end. If we don’t find the reason my hormones are imbalanced, I fear the weight will just come right back.

So, the desperation diet will get the fat off and buy me a little time to continue searching for the problem. I am amazed at how unwilling the doctors are to run tests, even if I am willing to pay out of pocket. Crazy…

Maybe I am too rigid, but I understood Jesus to say that looking at another with lust in your heart is adultery.

I’ve tried things my way, the more liberal way… it screwed up my life. We’re doing things God’s way now. Everything will work out, His ways are perfect…

Hope you are having a blessed day…

Where’s my sushi?!